stay on your toes

kids are honest. REALLY honest. especially if they were to receive the designation of Extrovert on the MBTI, they'll have no problem telling you whats up. this is something i love about working with kids - you have no idea what's going to come out of their mouth, and it keeps you on your toes. 

or the kind of expression they'll toss your way

so, yesterday was a PA day in toronto.

naturally, my store saw all kinds of hooligan children throughout the day, some chatty, some destructive, most lovely and super curious. my inner teacher comes out like crazy when kiddies come 'round and i begin to realize how much i miss the imagination and BRUTAL honesty lil guys will toss your way. 

just imagine this lil guy 

a girl, probably about 10, donning a pink wig (obviously), began to quiz me on what fair trade meant and where all our goodies came from - girlfriend knew more than me! after questioning me about EVERYTHING she could get her hands on, she danced out of the store, holla-ing to her mom: "mom! let's come back for jessica's birthday. this place is awesome" 

this is what makes the 'digging deep' days worth it. knowing that 10 year olds can know whats up, and are spreading the good word, makes my heart smile.

not being around kiddies on the regular these days also makes me miss my lil ladies whom i said goodbye to many months ago. this was one of the hardest parts about leaving seoul. BUT, lucky for you, i took all the videos in the world because, well, you can't get cuter than this. 

(disclaimer: this "Daily Expression" was LITERALLY to be taught one morning - other days included: "She is fat", "He is ugly" - made a few executive decisions there)

truth or dare

so it's been a little while; pay no mind! (said with a shooing arm gesture) 

i've just been really busy doing the following: 

1. working.

2. bulk cooking because i'm poor and unfortunately cannot dine at the big carrot 3 meals a day (oh, but what a dream that would be…)

3. working 

4. climbing snow banks 

5. working 

6. having beverages with fine ladies and gentleman 

7. stalking Anthony Bourdain online in anticipation of his new show (Parts Unknown - get on it) 

i also haven't really had a giant urge to share. this in part comes from my feeling that i'm not doing anything too exciting at the moment (my best pal is literally getting ready to get on a boat and sail around the world for 4 months - high fives to the moon and back) 

but then i think: no! embrace what you're doing and pump it up. 

one of my 2013 'things' was to do a better job of documenting and sharing, whether it's what i'm listening to, what vice travel video i've just watched, or future plans. 

your life is your life no matter the perceived magnitude of what's happening at the present moment. sharing and having other lives shared with you is what it's all about! sometimes an old photo or video can remind you of how lucky you are.  

here are two of my favourites. 

(also, i'm basically a born cinematographer and am still wondering why someone hasn't discovered me yet)

smile - i dare you. 

in a blink

what is it about holidays that somehow force reflection? is it the whole 'where was i last year?' thinking that seems to be thrust upon us? or the 'NEW YEAR NEW ME' wave of consciousness that begins to take over?

whatever the reason, i'm always a big fan of reflection, if not bordering on fangirl. while it's clearly not helpful to anyone to ruminate to the point of annoyance and/or finding yourself in the 'i'm solving nothing here but driving myself insane' zone, i think it's an amazing and valuable place to find yourself, if only for a short amount of time.

digesting what happens to us, however we decide to quantify/qualify it, is such an important step that i think may (read: will) help propel us into our upcoming days, months, years, adventures, challenges, good times, rotten times and most importantly, memorable times.

for those few humans that actually read this, at-the-moment, very beginner-stage of a blog, i thank you. i thank you for supporting me during this bizarre, personally challenging year. i thank you for sticking by me. i thank you for being there for me, regardless of our geography, time zone or life stage. i thank you for being supportive, encouraging and believing in me.

lets cut the chesse with some of my favourite pictures from 2012. great, fantastic, high five.

here's to an equally exciting, memorable, inspiring 2013.

pink power ranger

so i'm starting to believe in signs.

i never really have before, as i've been too preoccupied with being logical, planned, one who makes 'smart choices' and continuously attempting to find this thing called perfection (which, as i've recently learned, um, doesn't exisit?)

that was before julie turned my life around.

you may know her as the pink power ranger, or julie from felicity (come on, you know you watched SOME of that show - what quality television was there after dawson's creek anyways?) or currently as "that girl" in the CTV smash hit flashpoint.

i had the pleasure of assisting her recently at my current transitional employment adventure and while i didn't have enough courage to ask her if she still had her pink suit, or her guitar from epstein bar, she helped me realize something.

ya, i know this is going to be a stretch...

nothing is forever.

she was not going to be the pink power ranger forever, nor was she going to be the lost adopted country girl, just trying to make it in new york. there she was, an actual person, fresh from buying rich-hippie foods from the big carrot, buying some gifts for her daughter, while helping out our pals around the world.

so, as my good pal paulo coelho reminded me this week: change and renewal are the laws of life.

word paulo. word.

watch this, you'll be happy you did.

 

what do you want to be when you grow up?

i hated this question growing up. i never knew what to say and would often just make something up or have a different answer annually. i still hate it. when do we stop asking this question or for that matter answering it? and why does the be automatically equal one's profession?

i could go on and on with questions, almost answers, and even more questions, but that's just circular mumbo. as i contemplate my be, i know for certain what i want to have in my life, no matter what my be may be.

i want stories of people.

stories of places.



























stories of ups 

and stories of downs

stories of sadness

stories of happiness

stories of 'getting through'

stories of love

more stories of love

stories of experience

stories of perspective

stories of lessons

stories of who i was

and stories of who i now am 

what's your be going to be? 

the wild hunt

where do you start when you have to start over?

i uttered this question oh so quickly in a conversation with my best pal a few days ago, and the first thing she said to me was "write that down. right now."

i've been going over this question in my head a lot the last few months, where i find myself in this spin cycle of emotion. decisions that need to be made. panic and anxiety setting in at every corner.

or so it feels this way.

'coming home' is hard. after visiting almost 8 countries in the last two years, including living in one for quite some time, my idea of home is quite distorted. what is normal now? how do i behave in _______ environment?  how do i speak to _______ person?

sometimes locking a door and watching bollywood all day seems like the only solution to, well, everything.

but how far is that going to get me? not very it seems.

it's taken me some tearful conversations, tense yoga classes, failed attempts at reading books i should love, zero desire to cook a thing (but i love it!!) to realize something:

one step at a time.

in travel, one step at a time is literally a daily discussion. we do this, then this, then this, then this. if we get though the first step, awesome. we've succeeded.

but the concept of 'one step at a time' in a place, town, province, country that you have called home for decades, seems foreign. feeling foreign in your home country?

perhaps all you need is that glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel to know that you are exactly where you are meant to be....

for right now at least.